Shhh-- Do You Hear What I Hear?

I hear the quiet promise of the new day.


I have always been an early to bed, early to rise kind of gal.  I like the quiet of early morning.  Being up early helps calm the chaos of the hour and gives me time to make mental lists, organize plans and generally get myself geared up for the day before I find myself in the midst of the day.

In recent months I have found myself, without any conscious plan, saying a prayer of thanks as I  open my eyes.  I didn't design this exercise, it just happened.  Now, each morning I give thanks for the new day I have been given and I ask for guidance that this new day be lived in the manner and to the purpose for which God gave it to me.

The  morning hours are so full and with the extra time I can think about what is going on around me.

What do I hear?  I hear the clock ticking and the Hubs snoring.  Sometimes I hear delivery trucks at Target across the street.  I hear the stray cat knocking things around on the patio.

What do I see?  I see the dawn breaking, sometimes I see the cat, I see the house that surrounds me and keeps me warm on these cold winter mornings.

What do I feel?  Gratitude and humility.  Thankful that I have this day to enjoy all that life has to offer, thankful for the people who impact me everyday, thankful for the love of God -- I am always awed that this has been bestowed upon me -- an ordinary person of no particular merit except that I am a child of God and will always and forever be thankful for the opportunity to have been raised up in that belief.

So, as I sit and listen to the quiet of the new day I think about my journey to begin tomorrow.  My journey of gratitude -- diolch -- and  I thank God for the opportunity to walk this path.

Welcome to Diolch!

Diolch is the Welsh word for "gratitude"  and that is the focus of this blog.  I chose to employ the Welsh language here in honor of my Welsh ancestry.  It doesn't matter what language is used. I feel, as many have said, that gratitude is the key to happiness.

The summer of 2013 was a challenging one for me.  I was diagnosed with cancer in July.  It wasn't really a surprise to me, I knew something was wrong.  I had been afraid to go to the doctor but then I reached a point where I had no choice.  All the fear that I had felt prior dissipated and I only felt relief.  The process progressed quickly from sonograms to biopsies to surgery -- all within a week.  Truthfully, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, I felt wonderful.

I didn't make public knowledge of my situation, I only shared with a few people.  I didn't want to go from being Melissa the Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, quilter, cross stitcher, lousy cook to Melissa the CANCER PATIENT.  I didn't want this to suddenly define me so I kept quiet and went through the process.  I was included on several prayer lists -- my  DOK prayer list as well as my church prayer list.  I was put on several other churches prayer lists as well.  Now, I am a firm believer in prayer -- I always have been and it has always been my first line of defense but I have always been on the giving end and never the receiving end to this extent.  I cannot put into words the feeling of having all that prayer around me.  I felt like I was wrapped in a soft, warm blanket of caring and was being carried through all the motions I had to go through to deal with this situation.  I actually FELT the prayers. 

I have always been an independent person -- or tried to be.  I have never been one to ask for help unless absolutely necessary but I have always been willing to give help.  I found myself in the position of actually have to humble myself and ask for help.  I had to swallow my pride and realize that I needed help.  It was such a relief to let go of all that control and allow others to help me.  The help was mostly in the form of prayer because physically I was doing quite well -- I was dealing with the chemo well and keeping up with my usual routine for the most part. I did have to turn over a few of the daily chores to my husband which was hard to do -- I was the wife, the homemaker and I didn't want to shirk my duties.  However, I realized that by allowing him to take over I was allowing him to work his way through this situation as well.  I wasn't the only one going through this -- so was he -- much like I went through his heart surgery with him. So, together we plodded through this and I never lost the ability to feel the prayers.  Every time I had to go through something -- a treatment, a doctor's appointment, a scan or a test -- I felt a calm come over me and I knew that I wasn't the one going through these motions but rather God was taking me through them and the one thing that I felt above all was gratitude.  I was so grateful for God being there with me, I was grateful for the husband who was by my side, I was grateful for my clergy. I was grateful for the doctors who were so positive , I was grateful for the prayer warriors in my life because all of these people were the ones who were getting me through this adventure, I was grateful for my friends and family who I did tell,  and I was grateful for my children and grandchildren who provided me with "something to live for".  Left on my own I would have crumbled.

I cannot describe the feeling of peace that washed over me.  I know now that it was the "peace that passes all understanding'.  I began to feel an exhilaration like I always had my face to the sun.  I felt a calm that I hadn't felt in a long time.  The anxiety that I so often experienced was gone.  Without thinking about it I saw joy all around me.  I was puzzled because I can't remember ever feeling this way - I didn't know what I was feeling and then I realized I was feeling happiness.  To what did I attribute all this happiness in the face of adversity?  Gratitude.  I realized that once I "let go and let God" and allowed others to help me I was happy.  Really happy.  Now, several months later with a clean bill of health, I am still happy and still very grateful and I realize the two are linked without a doubt.

Around Thanksgiving there was an exercise going around Facebook called The Thirty Days of Thankfulness or something along those lines.  The goal was to post daily something that you were thankful for.  I thought it was a good idea to bring focus to something positive each and every day when there is so much negativity around us all the time.  However, why stop at thirty days -- why not every day? Why not keep a gratitude journal or write it on a calendar? Why not take a minute or two each day to be thankful for something.  It is life changing.

So, it is with that focus that I start this blog.  It is a personal discipline for me.  I thought about keeping a "gratitude journal" all to myself to reflect on but then I was reminded of a children's Sunday School song that we used to sing when I taught Sunday School -- "This Little Light of Mine".  Did I want to hide my experience under a bushel?  No.  Did I want to share what happened to me so that others could look at their own lives and possibly identify with what I have said?  Yes.  I am not a Bible scholar so this blog won't be full of profound, spiritual writings.  It is simply an account of what this humble, ordinary woman is thankful for.  Perhaps, if others read this and begin to examine their lives and all the things they are thankful for maybe they will realize, as I have, that happiness and gratitude are linked and in order to have one, you need to have the other.

Happy New Year!